27 August 2009

Turn up the heat

I know of only one Indian take-away in Dublin that has phall on its menu. It's a stupidly hot curry, invented in England to give macho arseholes something else to be obnoxious about, and though I lack a peer group made up of braying idiots, I'm not above a bit of chilli-based machismo. So phall it was.

This prompted a bit of a crisis: curry requires beer, and it was exceedingly unlikely I'd be able to taste much of what I was drinking. With no expendable beers in the house, I needed a curry lager, one where I wouldn't mind not tasting much of it, which is to say: cheap. I came up with a couple of cans of Pražský, a Czech lager by A-B InBev and one which is very popular in Ireland among less discerning drinkers. I recall someone (Evan? Al? Max?) saying this is one of the Staropramen range re-badged -- at 4.2% ABV I'd assume the světlý.

There's really not a whole lot going on with it -- it's watery and with a big hollow where the flavour is supposed to go. The one distinguishing feature is a slight sickliness, presumably caused by the use of corn syrup. And yet, when put next to a curry onslaught, all those problems go away and it just becomes a boring lager like any other.

Here's to the transformative power of the chilli.

17 comments:

  1. I love chilli, but a phall is just too much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A ruby and a can of lout. Now your talking.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Where in Dublin serves it?

    ReplyDelete
  4. If I remember rightly it is Staropramen 10 repackaged. Although it could also be Branik, which is also an AB InBev brewery.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I take it you mean phall, Oblivious (Pražský can be found wherever tramps need lager). Spice & Rice do it -- they've branches on Dorset Street and Clanbrassil Street.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Crappy lager is the only way to go with a proper curry (i.e. one that's a bit hot). Just as well, cos in most curry houses, that's all that's on offer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah spice and rice have a good reputation

    What about a nice mild with a curry, I think green kings dark mild would go well, any one able to confirm or deny this?

    ReplyDelete
  8. IMHO, you need palate-cleansing fizz with curry. And anything even remotely complex is just wasted, through a combination of the necessarily low serving temperature and big chilli onslaught.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had a Butte Creek IPA with the Bombay Pantry House Curry the other day. There was no natural affinity owing to their genesis and I was not suprised. It was all that was in the house. Waste of lovely beer. I should have gone for the illustriously named 'Dutch Lager' I got to trap the garden slugs instead.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Genesis should have been in inverted commas there, lest I get comment-bashed about the IPA myth.

    ReplyDelete
  11. People do tend to talk a lot about IPA and curry, and I think it must just be the name: the hops simply get smothered, in my experience.

    Haven't had a Bombay Pantry curry in ages. Om nom nom nom.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm sure it's just the name. Boak moaned about that a while back.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A frosted glass as well? Tsk tsk!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Professor Pie-Tin10:57 pm

    At least you didn't post a picture of the curry.
    The last time you did that it looked like
    radioactive gunge and chips.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Things I don't care what they look like as long as they taste good:
    1. My beer.
    2. My curry.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Phall translates as 'hell', generally restaurants don't put it on the menu as having to ask for it increases the machismo element.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Showbizguru9:03 pm

    Phall is okay but real hot curry purists prefer a tindaloo.
    It should only be ordered in a hushed whisper.

    ReplyDelete